We have been married for 35 years.
I have seen more than a few signs. Forgiving seems like an impossible goal for me . We’ve started counseling and are trying to stay together but I honestly don’t know how much I’ll believe him from now on if he was able to lie to me that much. So I went 9 years and never knew they’d been “corresponding” back then until a couple of months ago when I got an anonymous letter telling me to check my husband’s cell phone records and I found a recurring number almost every day (up to 150 times a day) for the 3 months I could go back. I’m so lost. We already went to therapy, he had promised me he had cut all ties with her, he changed his cell phone number and his email address….he swore he would never talk to her again. In addition I cheated over 25 years ago for 3 months. The nerve! I feel so so deeply for everybody here’s heartbroken, heartfelt stories. 4 Ways a Husband Can Unintentionally Break His Wife’s Heart (Marriage Today article) This was a wonderful article by Marriage Today that I felt to share. If you can get back to how your marriage was when it was solid, you can make it work and heal your broken heart. Without realizing it, we can be careless with our words and actions and inadvertently hurt our spouse’s feelings. That is your answer.
I say ladies. A million and one things go through my head on a daily basis. Almost a year here as well. We have been working on it for a few weeks. Forever it will be with me because of the cut in my heart was deep and fighting for my family back at the same time, she has done this three times! I truly feel that he trusts me, but over the 4 years we were divorced, he built a wall and is reluctant to let me back in wholeheartedly. Don’t dishonor your husband. there are no guarantees. Just don’t give in to hopelessness. He feels welcomed by this. What do I do? If your spouse cheats, it’s time to end the marriage. That is not y I stay with him. We have a house & a whole life started together.. im completely devastated. I spend much time with my family. You are the one he wanted. Although currently I have no money to purchase these books. I don’t know what to say, feel and do. After 35 years together I THOUGHT I knew my husband and I never in a million years would have suspected he would cheat but I guess I didn’t know him as well as I’m expected to. We just couldn’t get along. I wish you all well in your journey to heal your broken heart whether it be you stay with your spouse or move on. Perfect…no; committed…yes. As the spouse who has been hurt, you need to build your self-confidence. The silence is so loud! I feel mocked of , stepped on and the list goes on . Then I came home and shared the scenario with my man. My heart is cut so deep. We have been together for 20 years and married for 10, we are also divorced. I know how hard it can be to see through all of the mud. Work On Yourself – It’s also important that each spouse work on themselves. Is that really respect? I got angry. I growled at him to get out of my car, and when he did, I peeled out of the parking lot, called my office and said I was out the rest of the day, and packed all his clothes and drove them down to his office and piled it all on the front steps! I took the elevator and went out to my car….I was hurt, shocked, and devastated. I said I’d wait and as I sat down in the lobby, I saw him walking in, texting and smiling at his screen like an idiot. According to my husband what they did then didn’t last too long but I’m embarrassed to know that when she would ask me how he was she very likely already knew how he was so maybe her eyes were lighting up because she was laughing at me. The pain feels like it happened yesterday.
Word of advice from anyone, I love my husband I really do. I’m the cheater who got cheated back in the end. We have so much invested, Children, grandchildren, property. Because of what it is now. I’m so lost.
We got matching tattoos on our pinky’s saying PROMISE, this would be our new start and it meant a lot to me. The mistress confessed everything to me. How to move forward. I love this!! He needs to quit his job and promise to NEVER see her again.
I was an attentive, committed husband and father for 30 years. I just love what I just read and it touched me deeply. It’s why God created Eve so Adam would have a companion. These types of suggestions, while very biblical, helpful and encouraging in an otherwise healthy marriage with normal ups and downs, do not address how to motivate and influence another type of husband who requires outside intervention for the support and safety of the wife, who finds herself in a destructive, not just simply perhaps a disappointing marriage, while getting the husband the outside “influence” he needs to change. Having him is worse then being alone. Any suggestions? I don’t want a bunch of details but I feel like I can forgive a huge betrayal yet he can’t answer a few questions… I really need to talk to him about this to heal…he gets irate and acts like I’m not worth it if he can’t do his part is he really sorry…he has never sincerely apologise to me and blames it all on me… thinks that gave him a right to do it so he doesn’t have any responsability for his actions… I don’t know how to stop thinking about it. What went wrong? You can still be on a wonderful relationship without marriage. Seems like she was never really committed to the relationship in the first place. Janine Driver of the Body Language Institute shares four fascinating ways to tell if a husband is cheating on his wife and lying about it. Much less actually saving your marriage and healing it to the point where you feel good about it again. I wished I was dead so I wouldn’t have to face the pain. I just don’t know anymore. It was so peaceful and relaxing. it’s as simple as that.
My children won’t have anything to do with the OW, so he don’t spend time with them much or our 2 grandchildren which he adored. We must be the change we want to see. We divorced and I continued the relationship with the other man for 2 years until he left me.
Thank you for reminding me that even when I cannot, God can. This was just never going to work! My anxiety is taking a big Toll on me . Its hard trying to be the best woman i can be while he constantly makes me feel less than. Maybe if I try following these 10 things, he’ll be more inclined to want to contribute to our family. Then if somebody cheats on you, tell them to hit the road. I can’t get over it and I feel stuck in a hole . I dont know how to deal with this pain. Even through he promised he would stop. Here are 10 ways to fight fair in your relationship. I’m going to give it my best shot, but I will not stop living or being happy. If you heal everything will fall into place. I stopped by his office to surprise him with a slice of his favorite cake, and his secretary said she didn’t know where he was. I forgot to mention he jumped into the passenger seat of my car and tried to beg for forgiveness. Because this has nothing to do with you and more to do with the man he chooses to be. 4 Ways to Tell if He is Lying About His Affair. Everything essential to this marriage is shattered into a million pieces. Be Vulnerable – It can be scary to let go and risk being hurt again. You will become strong again and the hurt will be in the past. Then He saw that Adam needed a human companion…, “[Submit to Government] Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. But God changes hearts, he soften the hearts of kings, he can do the same for us. Story of my life!
The quick answer is God hates divorce! I try to live these daily. Trust that they didn’t mean anything to him. It is found in plenty of places in the Bible. When our feelings are hurt, we are less likely…, What is God's view of divorce? I have soooo much to be thankful for. The Best Resources For Healing from Infidelity, How Alone Time Can Help Save Your Marriage, Surviving His Infidelity: The First 100 Days (Plus Answers to Questions You’re Struggling With). Hi, I’m Jolene, a former atheist now living a sold-out life for Jesus Christ.
Sorry I am way beyond tired, psychologists don’t help, meds don’t word and lately I feel like I have Bipolar for my moods are so bad, one day good, one day bad, one day in bed, not interested in talking to any of my friends it family, I like staying in my house, I have changed so much over the last 15nonths and I miss the old me! It was long ago, so who knows what happened. Yes he has been an idiot and he is genuinely remorseful of his infidelity and continuously apologizes. How do I start that process ?
I moved back in, in March. When he saw me, his face changed and as he greeted me, he put his phone in his pocket. Learn how your comment data is processed. I think about divorce daily, even though I do not mention it. Both are difficult choices, but only one can bring you true happiness if it’s what you both want. I also tolerated it in the beginning, but now I am starting to hate him. I just want to finally sleep, it’s been months of little if any sleep. we have been married for what it would be 10 years this may and together for almost 14 years . Influence comes from trust and without trust, there is no influence. I was a very very outgoing & into my fitness & always being at the gym & ever since I discovered this affair I hit rock bottom & no longer feel whole again.